I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize