Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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