she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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