Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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