They should really pass out barf bags in church
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
