Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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