what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
