seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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