Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
