hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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