Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize