We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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