to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
