I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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