We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
