ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
