My brain says no but my pants say off.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
