Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize