Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
