i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
