ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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