She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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