He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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