Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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