pedialite and red bull = repair kit
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
