Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
