we have officially lost it.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
