Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
