You just made me feel so damn special
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
