end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
