hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
