soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
