I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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