I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
