I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
