just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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