Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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