Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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