Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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