did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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