fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
