I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
