I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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