that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
