Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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