i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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