I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
