I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
