Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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