ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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