just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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