I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
