Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize