I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
