9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
