so that wasnt chicken after all
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
