Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
