belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
