When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize