drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
