let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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