Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
