the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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