I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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