): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
