Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize