i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
