So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
