Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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