She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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