Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
my poor anus
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