just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
