i think my tv is drunk
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
