five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
